What Does "Becoming Her" Really Mean?
Many women feel stuck between where they are and who they’re becoming, like something inside them is calling them forward but the path isn’t clear. This post explores what it truly means to be becoming HER (a devotion to your future self) and how that inner pull impacts your growth, identity, and confidence along the way.
This blog post is adapted from Episode 2 of the Evolving Into Her podcast. Listen Below.
What Does "Becoming Her" Really Mean?
If you're tired of the aesthetic version of personal growth and ready for real transformation, this is for you.
Does this sound familiar? You're scrolling through Instagram or Tik Tok, watching another girl document her perfect morning routine. Matcha latte, Pilates, journaling in matching sets. And you think, "why doesn't this feel like me?" You've tried the 5am wake ups, the aesthetic routines, the vision boards. But nothing has actually changed.
You still feel the same. You're still living a life built for a previous version of you.
If that's you, you're definitely not alone.
The real process of becoming the next version of yourself is not always polished. It's definitely not always pretty. And it rarely looks like what you see on social media.
Let me show you what it actually looks like.
The "Becoming Her" Trend vs. Real Personal Growth
Everywhere you look, someone's talking about "becoming that girl" or having a glow up. The 30 day transformations. The aesthetic content with the matcha lattes and the matching workout sets and the clean girl makeup.
And listen, I'm not knocking it. I love a good aesthetic. I do all those things.
But if you've ever implemented those habits and thought, "I don't feel any different. I feel like I just dressed up my problems and nothing actually changed," you're not crazy.
Because real personal transformation is not always polished. And it's definitely not always Instagram worthy.
Signs You're Ready to Become the Next Version of Yourself
Real transformation starts with a quiet realization. Not a big dramatic moment, but something that hits you while you're doing the most mundane things.
Sometimes it looks like finally getting the courage to say, "this job is draining the life out of me." Or walking through your house after work and realizing, "I built this life for a version of me that I'm not anymore. I don't even recognize who I've become."
It's standing in your kitchen making dinner for your person and having a random moment where you pause and think, "is this really what I want? Is this really all there is?" And not because you don't love your person, not because the relationship is terrible, but because something inside of you is shifting and you're realizing you've grown. Maybe you've outgrown where you are, and that's part of the journey too.
Listen, sometimes becoming the next version of yourself does look like leaving the relationship. I know that firsthand. Other times, it could look like staying but finally using your voice and prioritizing yourself and your joy. It might mean asking for more or being honest about what you're no longer willing to tolerate, even if it's uncomfortable, even if it shakes the table a little bit.
When You Know Something Needs to Change
I know so many women who've had these realizations while doing regular everyday things. They're not huge epiphanies. It happens when you're making the bed, commuting to work, listening to a podcast, picking up the kids from school, and suddenly you feel that pull.
You feel that deep inner knowing that says, "I cannot keep living like this."
And that's the real work. Not the aesthetic, but the actual work you're doing in the in between. It's the decision, it's the discomfort, it's the identity shift.
Personal growth is layered. It's not performative, it's not content. It's who you are when nobody's watching. And honestly, when nobody's clapping for you. And how you start honoring that version of you more than the version you've been performing. For some of you, the version of you that you've been pretending to be.
How to Know If You're Changing (Even When Nothing Looks Different)
Here's what most people don't tell you about personal growth: you might still be in a season where everything looks the same on the outside. Same job, same routine, same people. But inside, you're completely different.
You're not reacting the same way. You're not saying yes to things you used to tolerate. You're not willing to betray yourself for approval anymore. You're not people pleasing. You have boundaries.
And even though that might not be visible to anyone else yet, that shift within you is everything.
It changes your frequency. It changes your energy. And that's what becoming the next version of yourself really is.
What the "Next Version of You" Actually Looks Like
Sometimes the woman you're becoming wakes up and makes a different choice. Chooses a different habit. She moves slower. She stops apologizing. She speaks up in rooms where she used to shrink. She takes a break when she needs one. She rests when she feels called to. She doesn't need to prove anything to anyone anymore.
And you've likely met “her” before. Maybe in a meditation. Maybe in your journal where you scripted about her days and her life and her experiences. Maybe you met her during a moment when you were the most clear you've ever been. And it does feel like an epiphany. It does feel like a divine download. It does look like or feel like a glimpse into your future.
And now you're just trying to figure out how to live like that version of you in real time. How to embody it and step into that frequency.
There's No Formula for Personal Transformation
Here's what I want you to know about this process: There is no formula. There is no perfect timeline. And there's no one size fits all version of “her”.
What becoming the next version of yourself looks like is going to be different from one woman to the next.
For one woman, it looks like starting the business and having autonomy over your career and your days. For another, it's closing the laptop at 5:00 PM and choosing not to overextend yourself and overwork, choosing to rest and pour into yourself from 5:00 to 9:00. For someone else, it's finally moving to a new city and choosing a different journey, leaving behind your friends and your family and familiarity and comfort. Or staying in the same city but choosing peace and prioritizing your joy and prioritizing yourself.
This isn't something you become once. This journey isn't a destination. She's someone you return to over and over again in different seasons of your life with more truth, with more clarity, with more softness, with more discernment.
You Don't Need to Have It All Figured Out to Start Changing
If you're reading this thinking, "I'm not there yet. I can't even think about my future self. I'm using all my energy just to get through today," I want you to know: you don't have to be there yet.
And it doesn't look like perfection. There's no gold star for rushing your progress. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. You don't need to be fully healed. You just need to be honest.
You're allowed to grow slowly. You're allowed to shift in silence. You're allowed to evolve behind the scenes. Even the quiet seasons are sacred.
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Looking for support on your evolution journey? Explore ways we can work together HERE. Whether you need one on one coaching, hypnotherapy sessions, energy healing, or a community of women walking this path with you, there's something here to support you on your journey.
— Ashlee Hope
Creator & Host of Evolving Into HER
Website: www.AshleeHope.co
Email: hello@ashleehope.co
Personal Instagram: @ashleehope.co
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